4-06-2011 -- By:
Ed Novitsky, From: Long Island
April 4, 2011
In the Loss
of Someone You Loved
May it comfort you
to know how much
your loved one meant.
To - The Family of Kim Darrow,
It was with deep regret that I read of Kim's passing in the newspaper. My
deepest sympathy goes out to all of his family members.
Kim was not only my lawyer but he became a sincere friend as well. He won my
legal case restoring my freedom, my house and my civil rights back to me. They
had unfairly been taken away from me plus I was in no position to defend myself
at the time. I will be eternally grateful to Kim for all that he did for me. I
feel that I owe him a debt which I know I could never repay!
Kim was an excellent and thorough lawyer in all respects. He really cared about
helping people in need and doing the right thing and was what a lawyer should be
and a great credit to his profession. He was a wonderful compassionate human
being and will be missed by all who knew him. If the world was full of people
such as Kim Darrow it would certainly be a wonderful place for all of us to live
May you Rest In Eternal Peace, Kim!
4-04-2011 10:22 PM -- By:
Kim was a great guy and helped so
many who others left behind ---- going to miss him very much ----
4-01-2011 5:07 PM -- By: Eric Burke and Karen Johnson, From: Ridge,
Heidi and Elsa introduced us to Kim, our neighbor, over twenty years ago by
running down the street into his yard. Dogs just know.
hadnít been for that encounter we may have never come to know this most
open-hearted, comfortable person with an easy laugh and a love of people, nature
and all of life. He was a sensitive soul who possessed great awareness and
came quickly with Kim and our doors were always open to each other, like family,
as we shared our daily lives for years and years to come. He will be missed more
than we can ever say. We loved him dearly.
4-01-2011 2:55 AM -- By: Leeling Ho
spring day of 1990 I met Kim and his former long time girl friend at Blydenberg
Greenbelt office. They just bought a house in Ridge. As the Chinese saying,
"Relatives live far away are not as good as neighbors who live close by". We
have been friends and neighbors since.
Kim is a
very kind, patient, sincere, caring, honest and loyal friend. He loved nature.
He enjoyed life and always kept the gathering joyful and relaxed. I enjoyed
hiking with him and often he was the lead. His desire to share his knowledge of
plants, birds and fungus were so genuine and sincere. If there were some plants
or birds he didn't know, he carried field guides to help identified them. I
always wondered how many books he brought in the napsak. He walked in moderate
speed, so everyone would be able to appreciate the time and enjoy nature in
90's, Kim, Ray, Mindy, George and a few other Greenbelt members would hike every
Wednesday after work. We painted the trail markers and picked up the garbage in
the Rocky Point, Ridge, and Riverhead areas. For many summers, Kim lead the wild
blueberries festival hike. One year, I was late and came with a box of
store-bought blueberries and beer to their home in Ridge. I helped with the food
preparation but then the crew came back with bags of wild blueberries. There
was always plenty of homemade gourmet food and a variety of beer, wine and soda
in a big bucket with ice. It started around 9am and lasted into the evening when
the last person left their home. We made the blueberry ice cream in the old
fashion way. Of course, blueberry shortcake, blueberry jam, and blueberry
muffins. It was a wonderful day and I still remember the happy time and Kim's
words and laughs. After one visit at North Shore hospital in this March, I
promised to have a blueberry day in my house this summer if Kim would make it.
Kim and I
went to the annual wine tastings at the University of Stony Brook. The highlight
of the event was a wine auction. Kim frequently bought vintage bottles and
shared the tasting with friends. Kim makes an ordinary gathering became very
special. He wanted friends to enjoy life and have a good time even when he was
very ill. Even in his most uncomfortable days, his sense of humor still made
people around him laugh. One time I went to see him and Denis was there. He
said, "let's go to the diner to grab a bite".
loved Kim as my adopted American brother and family. He has been there whenever
I needed a friend to talk. I moved to Nassau county in 1997 and was not able to
participate in the greenbelt hikes, but we met for dinner after work in the City
occasionally. Later on, he worked in Mineola office and I work at Great Neck
area, we did lunch from time to time.
In 2008, I
met Sherry for the first time and attended their wedding in 2009. I was happy
for him and Sherry because they seemed happy together.
24, I stopped by after work and let him know I would be going home to see my
family. He said "Good bye, Leeling". I said, "See you Kim, take care". That was
the last time that I spoke to him. It was difficult to imagine this world
without Kim. But I also know he will be always around and encourage me to live
every day to its fullest.
3-31-2011 10:27 PM -- By: Michael Sabourin, From: Vermont
always been one to live in denial when people pass away and certainly this will
be the case again; as there is no admitting such a feat as Kim's passing; I will
always think of him as alive in some manner if not at least in my head.
I have not
had the opportunity to spend alot of time with Kim. Though when the
opportunities where there he was a welcoming and kind person.
I did get
to witness some of his and Sherry's early relationship and admired that he was
able to capture the heart of someone he loved.
sympathy to Sherry and Kim's family,
3-31-2011 5:31 PM -- By:
Bobby Torkova, From: New Jersey
I am so saddened to hear of
Kim's passing. Besides being a very kind and caring person, he helped me out at
a difficult time in my life. Rest in Peace.
3-31-2011 3:27 PM -- By:
Shirley Routten-Gellis, From: Hampton, Virginia
So many have written to you here
about how gentle Kim was, how fair, tolerant and honest -- "a peaceable man" as
you so aptly describe him. I, too, saw these wonderful traits in Kim, but my
fondest memory of Kim is seeing him experiencing joy. It was during the trip to
North Carolina where you and Kim would be married in just a few days. It was
late at night and we had miles to go. Kim was driving. There was a full moon.
We were listening to steel drums, the music creating mystery, beauty and magic
out of that warm spring night. I remember the two of you so full of expectation
and promise and the joy we all felt as we sped through that romantic and
glorious Carolina night.
I know you have a great store of
beautiful memories. I hope this is among them and that all your sweet memories
of Kim will keep him close to you.
3-31-2011 12:50 PM -- By:
Stephen Buckser, From: San Ramon, CA
I first met Kim in a
Consciousness Raising group that started at his home in 1973. The group met for
many years and through it I had the good fortune of having Kim as a friend. He
was one person that didnít really need his consciousness to be raised. He was
always sensitive to and cared about people and issues. He loved and cared about
the environment. We held most of our meetings on Friday evenings, the next day
he would be making trails so walkers could enjoy the Long Island landscape. I
only wish he had more time to do the things he enjoyed and cared about.
3-30-2011 -- By: Michael Perlin, From: New York Law School
We have all lost a friend, and ally, and
a wonderful human being. The world is a sadder place without Kim's
My friend, we will meet again someday/on
3-30-2011 -- By: Thomas
Rhodes Hawkins and Sylvia Carter Hawkins, From: Raleigh, NC
Among Kim's many virtues, he
had a kind, natural way with children. A friend has a wonderful, happy
memory of her son being worried about bears while on a walk in the
woods, and Kim taught Johnny the words to Teddy Bear's Picnic -- Kim
knew all the words -- and they sang it stalwartly and loudly, to let the
bears know they were coming. Kim explained that with fair warning, the
bears would stay away.
We shall not see his like
3-30-2011 -- By: Rebecca
Madson, From: NY/St. Louis
Uncle Kim was my godfather.
He was a presence at every big event in my life as far back as I can
remember - birthday parties, my confirmation, and not long ago, my
graduation from college. One thing I remember fondly is all the cards
and postcards he sent me over the years. Always handwritten in his
beautiful penmanship, little notes from different travels and places he
had been and seen that he wanted to share. I'll always remember one of
the moments that I first felt like an adult - I went to hug Uncle Kim
and realized I was taller than him. When I took up Italian my senior
year of college, he promised me a trip to Italy once I completed the
course. Well, I ended up dropping the class after a week, and I always
regretted not getting to travel with him. He always talked with such
passion about traveling and wine and getting to see new and beautiful
places. I thought of him often when I finally made it across the pond
this past fall to Paris, and sent him a postcard from my travels. I will
miss him greatly.
3-30-2011 -- By: Gail Darrow
Ross, From: Charlotte, NC
I've known Kim all my life
and most of his. I couldn't have had a better brother. We were as
different as night and day, but I don't think we could have been
closer. We have been together through births, marriages, and deaths.
Ed, Emily, and Rachael loved him as much as I. When I last saw him
earlier this month, it was hard for him to speak. As I sat at the foot
of his bed, I felt him looking at me, so I smiled and waved. He smiled
and waved back, and we both knew what the other meant. Kim, I love
you. "Till we meet again."
3-29-2011 -- By: Lesley De Lia , From: MHLS
The last time I saw Kim says it all about Kim the lawyer and Kim the man. Of my 30 years of many
memories, it will be my fondest memory of my friendship with Kim.
On January 29, 2011, just a week or
so before Kim entered hospice, he dragged himself to
gathering at my house of friends from the office who really wanted to
see him. He brought with him several of his most cherished bottles of wine. At the end of the evening, he and Sherry were the
last to leave. All of the bottles had been opened and drained except for one.
Kim spotted the last bottle as he was putting on his coat, looked back
at me and sheepishly asked if he could take it home... adding with
a smirk..."I'd like to see how this one will taste in 10 years".
That moment showcased the optimistic
attitude that pervaded everything Kim did. It is everything I learned
from him in a snapshot and why I am so grateful to have had the
privilege of his friendship for 30 years.
3-29-2011 -- By: Sidney Hirschfeld, From: MHLS 2nd
Aside from his always
needing to borrow a tie or sport jacket from me for a last minute court
appearance, what I remember most about Kim was his courage and his
dedication to principle. These characteristics not only earned him the
admiration and respect of his clients and associates alike but hundreds
of loving and devoted friends, of which I am proud to be one.
3-29-2011 -- By: Ben Intonato
I remember being very young
and Kim taking me for a hike in his backyard.
He seemed to be smiling at
things the rest of us couldn't see. It was extremely special, and
connected to nature.
3-29-2011 -- By: Lynn Tinnie, From: MHLS
Kim your kindness and
generous heart will be missed by me and my husband. Be one with nature.
3-29-2011 By: Sheldon Rosen
Kim - the perennial optimist.
His kindness, intelligence, wisdom, passion sincerity and boundless
enthusiasm has enriched my life and the life of so many others. He is,
and will be, sorely missed.
3-29-2011 -- By: Emmie
Gunn, From: Charlotte, NC
Kim, you were a very
special man. I knew you from Gail and meet you several times over the
years. When I came with my friend Emily to New York you were my savior.
My wallet got stolen and when we meet up with you for a day of sight
seeing and eating you gave me money to return home on. When I got home
the first thing I said about my trip was that you had saved me and
helped me settle everything with the police report. Thank you so much.
You will be greatly missed.
3-28-2011 -- By: Laura
Ziegler, From: Vermont; before that, NY
Long before meeting Kim I'd heard he was one of the handful of live wire
MHLS attorneys who acknowledged the utter injustice of psychiatric
justice. I think I first met him in person at a public forum on
psychiatry and human/civil rights organized through Peacesmith in 1989.
At some undefinable point, we became friends.
My favorite memory of Kim is from a protest hike sometime around 1990.
Our group walked the trail behind Kings Park Psychiatric Center
overlooking the Long Island Sound, and at a high point Kim lifted his
hand and declared the place a state park. Years later, it became Nissequogue River State Park.
I remember his unfailing kindness and decency to his clients, his
sensitivity to how relentlessly they were trampled on by the courts and
by their keepers. Kim treated them with respect, relating to them as
equals, and stayed in touch with some of them many years after they were
no longer clients. I remember his tireless efforts on their behalf and
how he would toil over legal filings at the office in the middle of the
night. I remember his anger at the big injustices and disgust with the
I remember him on the ward at the Pilgrim State, at the cramped dingy
MHLS office on the grounds and later, the big main office in Mineola.
Kim standing in courtrooms: that small travesty of a court on Pilgrim's
grounds, the pink-walled Special Part at the Brooklyn Supreme Court, the
Appellate Division and the Court of Appeals. His big courtroom voice
loudly projecting in those hollow places. Always he showed the same
courage and perseverance in the face of official injustice and cruelty
I remember him cross examining Paul Henri Thomas' psychiatrist, saying:
"So you've damaged his brain, you've damaged his liver..." A red faced
Judge Hall screamed at Kim from the bench, "You should be ashamed!"
I remember him calling the night before the U.S. began bombing Iraq in
2003 to tell me he'd found something in international law that might
help stop it, and asking me who to contact.
I remember Kim speaking about going into private practice after he
retired, and working on the same issues in New Jersey and Connecticut as
well as New York. I remember him saying, deadpan, "I could be the
scourge of three states."
I remember Kim in love, like a parched person who'd found a clear spring
and would never be thirsty again. I remember him on his wedding day,
standing with Sherry before the minister on a sunny deck in Chapel Hill,
the two of them gazing into each other's faces and a giant bee hovering
nearby. I remember the two of them walking in winter coats, tucked into
each other, leaning together in an unthinkingly perfect fit.
I remember Kim's dogged, stoic eating when his illness or the chemo for
his illness made eating so crucial and so hard to endure. I remember
walking with him around a Baltimore block on a cold November day, Kim
pushing past his own pain and weakness to investigate historic
architecture tucked among the modern. I remember him struggling to his
feet, and with the aid of a walker and the physical therapist, walking
as far as the door of his last hospital room.
Kim fought to protect us from violent intrusions on our liberties, our
bodies and our minds. The world is a more dangerous place without him. I
feel this in a very personal way, since for the past nineteen years Kim
was my alternate health care agent -- someone who could literally
protect me from psychiatric drugs and electroshock if I couldn't protect
When I still worked for a law clinic and was spending a lot of time at
Pilgrim State, I asked Kim how he dealt psychologically with the
oppression and trauma saturating that terrible place. He replied that he
tended to be intensely focused on whatever he was doing -- so that when
he wasn't on the job, his life outside Pilgrim displaced what he
encountered there. He wrote to me once about his work with MHLS, that
"hope springs eternal."
When I said goodbye to Kim I told him I'd think of him when I was in the
woods. I will. But I'll also think of him when it's necessary to speak
loudly and clearly in places of corrupt power, or when kindness and
infinite patience are needed, and not there. May he spring eternal.
3-28-2011 -- By:
Years ago Kim received some tiny trees from the Arbor Foundation. He
brought a birch to us and my husband Jim planted it. He named it
Horace. "Horace" is now taller than my house and doing well. I will
think of Jim and Kim whenever I look at Horace.
3-28-2011 -- By: Lucio Cristofano, From: MHLS 2nd
I have worked with Kim for over 16 years; He was soft spoken and very
friendly to deal with. Even on those rare occasions when he was upset he
kept his calm. He was a great advocate for his clients, and they were
lucky to have someone like Kim represent them. If there are courts in
the after life I'm sure Kim will be in there continuing his work.......
3-28-2011 -- By: michael neville, From: MHLS - Brooklyn
Kim was a friend, a colleague and a tremendous inspiration to me in
the battle to defend and expand the rights of people alleged to be in
need of psychiatric treatment and confinement. His tireless dedication
to this cause was inspirational. On behalf of the many, many clients he
served and the lives he touched here in Brooklyn, I extend an abiding
gratitude. It was a true honor and privilege to have known him.
3-28-2011 -- By: Gerry Kaplan, From:
After reading all the wonderful comments
about Kim, what more can one say. He was a perfect representative of
the Mental Hygiene Legal Service. He gave his all when representing a
client. A dedicated, bright advocate, admired by his peers. He will be
3-28-2011 -- By:
Jack Finkenberg, From: Open Space Council
You always had a good story Kim and you loved the
music. I always enjoyed your company.
3-28-2011 -- By:
Rosie, From: MHLS
Kim was my hero in his battle against this
horrible disease! Sherry, you are a very brave woman standing by his
side in his fight against pancreatic cancer. I will always remember
dancing with him at our MHLS holiday parties and sitting across from his
office and admiring his dedication to our clients. I remember him
coming to work covered with ticks from one of his hiking trips and
thinking, boy he really loves this place! Well, he did and I'm sure he
will be sorely missed! I know I will miss him even though I didn't work
with him any more and will always remember him!
3-28-2011 -- By:
Rachael Ross, From: Charlotte, NC
When I was a kid, I wanted a very specific doll for Christmas that
was sold out everywhere in Charlotte. Kim found one in New York and got
it for me. He was a person who cared about important issues like
patients' rights and environmental preservation, but he also cared about
small things, like his then eight year old niece opening an Oopsie Daisy
doll on Christmas morning.
He was the best uncle to me. He was fun and funny and caring. He
was always happy to dance with me at weddings and he always found ways
to entertain my family, like when he performed his own version of card
Once, when I was a senior in high school, Kim surprised my mom by
visiting us for her 50th birthday. That weekend I was cheering at my
school's football game. I remember having to tell the girls on the squad
it was time for another pyramid because my uncle, standing on the
sidelines with his camera, wanted another action shot. That's how he
was. He loved his family and supported us, even if that meant
taking cheerleading pictures.
I love him and I will miss him. We all have memories of Kim, and
those memories along with the integrity in which he lived his life and
the genuine compassion he had for others, will continue to be an
3-28-2011 -- By: Kyna Darrow-Barr, From: Howell, NJ
Thank you for always being a source of stability and comfort in my
life. Thank you for always helping me to choose the right path. You
taught me commitment to family, joy in discovery of something alive in
nature, the magic of the sky and the peacefulness of knowing you have
always done the best you can. You believed in my abilities so strongly
that I believed I could achieve any goal. Thanks for your gentle words
and kind hugs.
I feel joy in knowing you are free from your disease and are able to
enjoy the unending beauty and peace in your next journey. I feel your
I weep for my loss yet I am able to enjoy your comfort and joy as you
continue to be a source of stability in my life.
I love you with all of my heart forever.
Love always and completely,
3-28-2011 -- By:
Hope Jackson, From: MHLS (co-worker)
My memories of Kimba (my nickname for the hiker/advocate for Pine
Barrens acquisitions and caretaking) are filled with smiles and
sunshine. Kim is an inspiration to us in the way he lived his life...
he worked hard and long to help those less fortunate than himself.
Kim's courage through this illness was amazing. We who loved him and
worked with him felt involved in his struggle as he wrote paragraphs of
updates to let us know what was going on. It helped us to be able to
feel his thoughts during this challenge that turned ordeal and demise.
We were grateful that he let us "in" to hear the story, to allow us to
share in his struggle in some small way.
Kim and I shared a love of the music and artists spawned in the 60's
and we laughed at a song sung by Pete Seeger, called In Dead Ernest. The
words to this song depict how Kim felt about death, when we talked about
it, years ago.
Knowing Kim made an impact on my life
because his actions and demeanor taught me about integrity and ethics
and above all, kindness. Kim is a spirit who lives within my
heart and helped me - in his subtle way, to become a better person. He also joked and dismissed my
fears about being a less than perfect mother. Kim is all about joy and
living life in the most positive way that you can.
I drove out east yesterday, because I just had to honor Kim in some
way, walking on the Pine Barren path seemed to be a simple yet heartfelt
way of doing so.
I don't think I ever had the pleasure of meeting you. I am grateful
that Kim felt "complete" with you by his side. If I can ever be of any
assistance to you in any way at all, please don't hesitate to call on
me. Love and Peace be with you,
Hope Jackson from Central Islip office, MHLS.
3-28-2011 -- By:
Debbie Beyhl, From: MHLS
Always had a smile on his face.... One of the bravest people I ever
met. Always fighting for a great cause. He will be missed but
3-28-2011 -- By:
Nora Renzulli, From: MHLS Staten Island, NY
Kind, thoughtful, warm, open hearted,
multi-dimensional, empathetic, intelligent, and understated--Kim was a
great lawyer in the true meaning of the word. He applied his
formidable talent and time to the pursuit of fairness and justice for
his clients regardless of the state of pariahhood they inhabited. In
the illustrated dictionary of my mind, Kim's image is
indelibly linked to "good man." My life was enriched by knowing him and working with
him and I mourn his loss.
3-28-2011 -- By:
Sara Farrell, From: Ridgewood, New York
Sherry, I am extremely sorry for your loss. I had the pleasure of
working with Kim, but only for a short time. Kim was always so friendly
and so sweet. When I heard of his illness, I kept him in my thoughts and
wished for the best after each of his updates. It seems to me that he
lived his life the way many people only wish they could, by making a
difference. He is sorely missed and I will keep him in my thoughts
3-28-2011 -- By:
Karen Blumer Madigan, From: Shoreham, LI, NY
Kim is one of my dear-heart friends, always ready to help, with
spirit and verve, lending his knowledge to our many never-ending legal
challenges for Open Space Council, of which he was a distinguished board
member for decades, enjoying fine (and other) wine, and other fun-filled
endeavors. Annually he and I would pledge ourselves to meeting at the
Breslin recovering 100 acres of pine barrens in Yaphank to track how
incredibly well it was self-restoring, and annually we would laugh as we
got there separately but not together. I will remember him fondly as I
continue the track. Kim's spirit endures.
Note: not enough room in place of origin above: Shoreham, where pine
barrens meets the Appalachian oak-hickory forest, dominated by chestnut
oak -- not found everywhere on LI. That for you, Kim.
3-28-2011 -- By:
Emily R. Powell, From: Raleigh, NC
Kim was my uncle. He was one of the kindest people I have ever had
the honor of knowing and was so blessed to be his niece. Whenever we
would all go visit my grandfather (Kim and my mom's father), I would
often go on walks/hikes with Kim. He would always have orange flavored
vitamin C tabs for us in the morning. LOL One time when he visited my
home was for my daughter's first birthday. He identified a tree
along our driveway for us which was very helpful because the berries are
poisonous. My son puts everything in his mouth so this will be very
helpful. Jack, my son, and I inherited the Darrow skin tone much like
Kim. We are the pale ones in the family. Kim will be missed so much.
He was always so good to my sister and me as well as my children after
they were born. I wish my kids would have gotten to know him better,
but we have pictures and memories. Miss you, Kim. -Em
3-28-2011 -- By:
Cathy A Levin, From: National Empowerment Center, MA
I am sorry for your loss. I did not know Kim Darrow but it is
terrific allies like him who do good work in the mental health field. I
appreciate his efforts. It makes a difference in my life, the lives of
my friends and the work I do in mental health advocacy myself.
3-27-2011 -- By:
Laura Van Tosh, From: a free place
Sherry, I am sending condolences about a man I never met , but who
indeed made an indelible mark on this world. Since learning of his
death, I have read about him and his great work for disability rights.
We should all plant a tree like you plan to do...in peace and in the
spirit of freedom.
3-27-2011 -- By:
Tina Minkowitz, From: Chestertown, NY - & psych survivor
remember when I first met Kim but was aware of him as the most gentle of the
MHLS attorneys in the special litigation and appeals unit who were the ones
fighting with full dedication to free our people from commitment and forced
drugging and forced electroshock. Kim often struggled to get his words out
and to be heard, and he was very careful as an attorney to be accurate in what
he was saying. He cared a lot about his clients' freedom - he knew they
deserved it and hated when the system took them back in spite of his efforts.
He once told me why he hated "therapeutic jurisprudence" - "because everybody is
trying to do therapy on my clients, I'm the only one who doesn't do that to
Kim supported my work on legal capacity in the Disability Convention.
He was very clear that even to say that legal capacity depended on
whether a person's wishes could be understood, would be a loophole that
would be used to invalidate the choices of people with psychiatric
labels. Later I also heard from him about cases where guardianship was
sought for abusive reasons.
Kim's love for Sherry opened up a new dimension in his life, from what I
could see. I never was close to Kim as a personal friend but I have
been friends with Sherry for many years and could see how they came
together with such ease and joy and comfort. Fighting the cancer became
their joint expression of love for each other, to get to a place where
they wouldn't have to fight any more and could enjoy life in their new
home and wherever they might travel.
I would like to believe that Kim is now free in spirit, his gentle
presence being felt everywhere he touched the earth, people he loved and
most especially Sherry, and in the movement of psychiatric survivors and
3-27-2011 -- By:
I only knew of Kim Darrow. He had a great reputation as a crusader
for the civil rights of people like me who are diagnosed with a mental
illness. my first reaction was sadness at the thought of losing such a
valuable ally, but I believe his influence will continue to be felt for
years to come and I take comfort in that.
3-27-2011 -- By:
When I used to say "You don't know how much I love you", he used to
respond with some indignation, "Yes I do!", meaning simply my love must
be as deep and true as his for me. I only meant, sweetheart, that to my
unending surprise, it was far far beyond anything I could have imagined.
To which he would reply, in his peaceful accepting way, just goes to
show the unsurprising limits of human imagination. I want more time,
can't help it, I need more time. Just one blessed hour, to rest on one
another's shoulder, and sigh, and feel the pure peace of perfect
companionship. After so many dark days, to feel the sun on our faces,
together, to feel the air move over us, together, to gradually become
aware of the rustling leaves, then the birdsongs, then the limitless
sky, and back to the sweet sweet weight of your body against mine.
He was traumatized by a difficult transition when he was a boy, from
a small school in his hometown, Collins Center in western NY, where
everybody knew him, to a larger one where a put-down applied to him was,
incredibly to me, "Decent Darrow". It was meant meanly and he felt that
- he was smaller than other boys, and bookish, and visibly distressed by
unkindness. Though a peaceable man, personally shaken by conflict, all
his life he felt called upon to fight for the right of vulnerable others
to be let alone, to live their lives as they themselves choose.
Above all else he loved the woods, the little things, rooted and
footed, that lived there, and the quiet endurance of trees. My greatest
hope is that he will become the one we plant with him, a white pine
native to this island he made his home. I hope he will grow tall enough
to see far far away, to welcome and shelter the little birds, to know
the changing seasons that so excited him, to continually shed all
trouble and sadness till pure being is all that remains, tree
consciousness, whatever that is. I'm sure it will feel very familiar to
Kim, the gentlest, sweetest-natured person I ever knew, who grew in this
troubled world a purer, wider, more sheltering love than can be
"Keep a green tree in your heart, and perhaps a singing bird will
3-27-2011 -- By:
Myra Kovary, From: Ithaca, NY
I can only begin to imagine what you are going through and hope that
a few words from a fellow survivor can bring you some comfort. I didn't
know Kim personally but have heard wonderful things about him from dear
friends of his who I am lucky enough to count as dear friends of mine.
I'm sending my heartfelt condolences and wishing you strength and peace
for your journey in the the days ahead. In solidarity, Myra
3-26-2011 -- By:
Lester Cook, From: New York
I had the honour and pleasure of meeting you one time at the Esmin
Green Vigil and I remember you were a good warm hearted soul who cared
deeply about people. You will surely be missed by the psychiatric
3-26-201 -- By:
Mary Dezso, From: Westport, Connecticut
Peace be with you at
this difficult time. Saying goodbye is an endless ordeal with no real
end. Diana called me from the Hospital (we have been dear friends since
1979) and expressed her helplessness at helping. I know the feeling. May you have only the joyful buoyant memories of a lifetime together and
that you will be together once again but this time with no pain, no
tears, and no separation. God bless you now and always! Sincerely,
3-26-2011 -- By: Juli Lawrence, From: ect.org
Sherry and friends,
My deepest sorrow for your loss, and the loss of one remarkable man.
His work against forced treatment was so important, and will live on.
What a gift he was to us all.
3-26-2011 -- By:
Daniel Hazen, From: New York State
I send my condolences.
I am thinking of you, many warm meditations to you. I remember hearing
Kim present at my first NARPA conference and thinking how fortunate we
are to have such a person fighting with/for us. I will cherish the
moments of standing with him at the UN celebrating the CRPD and standing
vigil at the Esmin Green Vigils. He shared so much and I am grateful to
know such a person. Much love to you. Daniel
3-26-2011 -- By:
I am grieved and still unbelieving. Kim was so tenacious and
persistent and unflagging, decade after decade, fighting against
outpatient commitment and ECT and fighting for rights and dignity of
people who were locked up, I thought he would still be filing cases
long after the weaker ones among us had flagged and faltered. He fought
this so hard, and we were the more fortunate for having the extra time
to appreciate him. A good man who gave of himself continually for
others, someone who really personally knew the people he fought for and
was loved by all of us who benefited from his work and his life.
3-26-2011 -- By:
George Badillo, From: Sound Beach, New York
He's a wonderful man, a great advocate and public defender and one of
kindest human being I've ever met. He will be missed.
3-26-2011 3:43 PM -- By:
celia brown, From: Bronx, New York
My condolences to you. I'm
thinking of you. I was honored to know Kim, he was a wonderful person and
supported the rights of users/surviviors of psychiatry.
3-26-2011 2:12 PM -- By:
Darby Penney, From: Albany, NY
I'm so sorry to learn that Kim
has passed. He was a remarkable and dedicated advocate who worked tirelessly for
the rights of people with psychiatric labels. He will be sorely missed.
3-26-2011 -- By: George
Ebert, From: Sterling
Sherry, I am sorry for your loss. Kim gave us all so much
by his work. The world is becoming a better place because of his
3-26-2011 -- By:
Grace Nichols, From: Albany, NY
I only knew Kim through his reputation and the respect and gratitude
our community has for him. Thank you for your bravery and love, and for
the way you modeled how we should be there for each other. I am so
sorry for your loss.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be
made to NARPA
(donations will be used for NARPA's scholarship fund)
and to the
Long Island Greenbelt Trail